A Secret Love

A world famous speaker said, “Life is full of ups and downs.” That means Life is not easy. A long time ago, Korea had a war which was The North and South Korean War. A lot of people had their family split after the war, and my family was also one of them. My grandfather and my father were displaced persons. The war between south and north Korea war influenced me deeply. For example, I have learned wrong Korean history, I have betrayed my parents trust and I have lost my love. These things made me sad like a gloomy day.

I have learned wrong Korean history. For example, one day, when I turned on the television, I watched a scene. It was many young people struggling with the police, and I was very surprised by it. After that I asked my father, “Papa why are they angry?” My father said, “These young people live in Kyoung Ju, and Kyoung Ju people are bad people.” It means in the 1960’s, when the South Korean government took one village named Kyong Ju and killed nearly 70% of the people in the village. And then, the South Korean government said that the people who were killed were from North Korea. Since, The Korea War, many people hate North Korea. Therefore, many South Koreans thought North Koreans have to die. And my family took this idea as a matter of course. Furthermore, my grandfather, and my father supported it. Even today South Koreans think that people from KJ are North Korean people. However, this is not true. What happened was that the South Korean general named Park Jung Hee needed more politicked power. He wanted to have president of Korea, and he became a president of Korea through a coup d’etat. After that, South Korea was under a military dictatorship. Most South Koreans still think Park Jung Hee who was president of Korea was the savior of South Korea. These days, as in those days, most South Koreans do not like the people who lived in KJ because they still believe the old government propaganda.

I have betrayed my parents’ trust. For example, when I was twenty one years old, I fell in love. He was also twenty one years old, and he was very handsome. When I walked with him, many journalists took his picture because he looked like a model. I really loved him, and he also loved me. One day, I had a date with him nearby my house because my parents did not leave home very well often. When we finished the date, he took me to my house. After we arrived home, my father saw us. After that he said, “Daughter, who he is?” I said, “Father he is my boyfriend, Hun.” We entered my house, and my father asked him, “What is your hometown?” Most Korean parents ask there hometown because they think that hometown make people’s personality or people have their hometown’s native specific quality. After that Hun said, “Kyoung Ju is my hometown.” I became tense because I already knew my father did not like the people who lived in KJ. Ten minutes later, Hun left my house. My father called me, and he said, “Do not meet him anymore.” However, I could not agree with him, I just wanted to stay with Hun. Therefore, I met him secretly. We continued dating, I had to lie to my parents, and when they found out it, my parents felt very hurt. My father did not say anything to me for three years. Because of that I lost self-confidence, and I lost my positive perspective.

After that I lost my love. I decided to not meet Hun. I was very sad, and he was also sad. We really loved each other. However, I was my father’s daughter, and I could not hide Hun anymore from my parents. I went travel myself for regulating my mind. When I arranged my mind, I came back home. I opened the door of my room, and I looked at a secret box. The box’s inside had his pictures and my pictures, letters and ring. I read one of the letters. The letters were from when he was solider, he sent to me. The letters’ contents were I was very sorry because I stayed in the army, so you stayed alone for three years. However, I really loved you. When I was discharged from military service, I would return your love. When he was solider, I thought our love could complete through marriage. However, for three years, my father did not change his mind, and I could not complete my love. That day was his mustered out day, I met Hun.I told Hun we had to break up. He surprised by it, and he started to cry in front of me. He told me why did we break up? I explained my father and my family’s deep sadness. When I spoke everything, he could not say anything. He just said, “I love you, and I will remember you forever.” However, I lost my words, I did not answer to him. Actually, I am still thinking about him. Unconsciously, I mutter to myself like to talk Hun.

As you can see, The North and South Korea War influenced me, I have learned wrong Korean history, I have betrayed my parents’ trust and I lost my love. These things made me deep sadness. A world famous speaker said, “If you lost your first love, a second love still waits you.” I am still waiting my second love. Where is my second love?